Why do women need to be validated by men? -By Joro Olumofin

Is it perception? Culture? Trend? A mental mirage? Parental pressure? In our society today do we think less or more of a successful lady who doesn’t have a man. Does having a man complete you as a woman? An article in New York Times likened a woman having a man to a celebrity being verified by Twitter/ IG.

Some celebrities who have accomplished a lot in terms of record sales and medals, don’t feel complete because they aren’t VALIDATED/VERIFIED by a social network. Can we compare this to some ladies who have all the qualifications, beauty, brains, cooking skills etc, but don’t have a man?

Do they need a man to verify them to make them complete? I met a lady at a conference last month, Mary, 28, she has a Bsc/Msc in Computer Eng. She complained about how all her achievements and good qualities are overlooked by family and friends because she’s single.

Her mom complains she attends a lot of weddings and buys too much asoebi yet pick on her for being single e.g

(1) Your mates are getting married every weekend you’re busy buying their asoebi and bringing home wedding souvenirs & party hats.

(2) Her married friends no longer pick up her calls or reply messages.

(3) Her friends who are pregnant hide their pregnancy from her or don’t allow her carry their babies.

(4) Any time she meets a client and she says she’s single they have an impression about her or ask that question that ladies dread being asked: “Why are you single?”

Society and its stereotypes, pressures have made it a benchmark or a necessity for a lady not to see herself as complete unless she has a man. Meanwhile men feel validated either way, single or married, men are validated provided there’s money. You don’t need a man to validate or verify you as a woman.

If you allow the pressures or give into the competitions you may lose your self, worth, esteem and develop an identity crisis. Some men are aware that some women are in dire need for validation so they take advantage and throw all sorts of degrading antics at them.

Make yourself a woman that will Validate or Verify your man, present or future.


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